Unity in Tension
(a revitalized and hopefully still relevant blog from Amanda)
I originally wrote this blog in the early Spring of 2020. I was struggling with everything happening during those early days of COVID and the rising division around the world, but especially in the States. I wanted to have so many conversations with so many people, but found myself unsure where to start, especially while living in Hungary and not sure that hard conversations are always best over the phone/internet. While I was chewing on all of this, lockdown in Hungary also meant I had a lot more time to pray and really dig in with God. It was during one of those times that I started my bible study with a pit in my stomach from the hurting all over the world and God hit me over the head with Romans 12:15
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep”.
It both feels too late to share this now, but it also feels like it’s more important than ever. So please, bear with me; this is a long one.
Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep”.
As a larger culture we seem to be incapable of this. We have reduced our lives to our social timelines where there is little to no opportunity for genuine interaction or nuance, and where we seem to be forced repeatedly into “either/or”. We cannot rejoice AND weep, we are forced to choose a side rather than sit in the tension of these complex emotions. But God has been showing me that as Christians we are given the unique ability to hold these tensions together ONLY with Him, through His love because of the hope we have in the future and knowledge that unity is more important than simply being right.
I think, left to our own devices, we naturally list one way or the other. We all have our own natural tendencies, and God knows that. Some of us naturally lean towards justice and legalism and the idea that people MUST be held accountable for their actions. Others more naturally bend the other way towards grace, forgetting wrongs and moving on. God created us and those tendencies.
And the amazing thing is, in the bigger picture of the Kingdom of God, each of our own natural tendencies has a beautiful part to play in the restoration process. But we must work together in unity to balance each other and find the whole biblical picture.
Because on our own we are incapable of finding balance, it’s only when we fix our eyes on God that our perspectives are straightened and aligned in order to be able to be a part of the bigger picture and community of Christ. Otherwise we seem to run one way or the other and sit there strengthening our argument around the small piece that we see (and closing our eyes to anything else), rather than the whole, beautiful, picture.
I discovered what is perhaps one of my favorite quotes ever in a literature class at University.
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Of course I latched onto it because we just don’t use the word “hobgoblin” enough. But more deeply because of what it indicates. Even Emerson noted our human tendency to “stick to our guns”, especially when we are in a position of power. Once we say something we have to stick to it. This feels especially triggering in the realm of religion because the stakes are so high. If you question my God and my way of life, then I have to prove you wrong. And if your continued questioning pokes holes in the ideals I hold so closely to my heart and identity then where does that leave me? So we scream even louder into the void, burying our fears in these screams trying to convince ourselves and others that what we believe is correct.
But how little does that make God? Is the creator of the universe so small and limited that he can’t stand up to some human questioning? We have fashioned him so much in our image, fragile, afraid, tenuous, rather than understanding that we are made in HIS image; not the other way around.
And so, sadly, the “hobgoblins” continue to grow on both sides.
But I firmly believe that as Christians we have the amazing and difficult responsibility of standing in the gap. We are paradoxical balls of tension ourselves; new creations in old bodies: NOT hobgoblins. We have the unique capability to hold these uncomfortable tensions because our eyes are fixed on God and who we are in Him rather than striving to prove ourselves to those around us.
We get to sit in this tension because unity is more important than being right.
And we are ALL children of God, created in His image. As Christians we should be on the front lines fighting injustice; we are the MOST equipped because of this freedom in knowing the whole picture and not having to take control. Instead we have let ourselves be crippled by fear.
I so badly want to just fix it all. To make people understand each other better, to realize the humanity within each and every person they come into contact with. To stop being elitist, racist, homophobic, entitled, etc. These tensions fill me with such a strange and uncomfortable mixture of deep sadness and visceral rage and it’s difficult to know what to do with it. My personality is such that I feel a “need” to fix things and make everything peaceful (yes, Enneagram 9) and unfortunately I’ve come to the conclusion that as much as I want to make it all better, that’s just not my job.
As a Christian, it is a part of my job, but ultimately the outcome does not fall to me. I have to feel my rage and I have to act, but there absolutely has to be time and surrender between those two.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20.
Because of the hope I have in the future reconciliation of all things, my actions suddenly become less heavy. Rather than feeling like the success of a movement, or even the fate of our country depends directly on every action I take, I can trust that God is already moving and I’m freed up to join in on the work being done.
Please don’t misunderstand me. This is NOT a hall pass to inaction. Instead, for me it makes righteous action easier because often for me if I’m so afraid of the outcome, any kind of action becomes incredibly difficult. I agonize over what is the “right” choice and what I “should” be doing and in that waffling do nothing. But with my eyes fixed firmly on God and what I know of His character and desires for this world and the already and not yet of His Kingdom, I can take each step with confidence and freedom, trusting that by being faithful in each step ahead of me He will do the big work.
The hard thing is that it’s not an easy fix.
It’s not a one and done, and it can’t be distilled into a 10 point list of items every person has to do. As a culture we have become so accustomed to being comfortable and finding the easy solution to any and every problem. But again, as Christians we should be especially ready and equipped to lean into this difficulty and tension because we know it’s worth it.
For one person it may be having to sit in the tension for the first time, to open their eyes to the brokenness of our world and really experience it for the first time and even admit their culpability in it. For others it might be having conversations that they have been avoiding; asking difficult questions of relatives or seeking forgiveness from those to whom they have acted unjustly. As you study God's word, participate in Christian community, and pray, what do you feel God is calling you into? I trust that if we truly focus our eyes on God and seek His Kingdom first, righteous action MUST follow.
Unity does not mean forgetting or even forgoing the differences between us, rather minimizing them in light of the Gospel.
Proper Godly perspective makes the things of this world smaller and gives us the ability to hold things in tension. As we come together as communities with our eyes fixed on God and not our own selfish desires, things start to change. All truth is God’s truth, so I can trust that if my eyes are truly fixed on Him and I am committed to acting on His purposes and not my own, then righteousness will follow. That’s my job. Not to tell other people off, to be the loudest voice, or even convince to people that I’m right. My job is to paradoxically lead by following. I am to set an example of righteous action that brings about justice and reconciliation by fixing my eyes on God and surrendering my will to His. But that is much harder than just digging in my heels and yelling. It takes discipline and discernment. And that’s hard work. Are you willing to join in that work with me?
